tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-318245630918980101.post2538968187006183420..comments2023-11-08T22:57:40.237-05:00Comments on OUT OF THE BOX: ManipulationBilly Longhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13739420756402743057noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-318245630918980101.post-45970152154052883292009-01-06T22:52:00.000-05:002009-01-06T22:52:00.000-05:00Tim, The difference in what you described versus ...Tim,<BR/> The difference in what you described versus manipulation is that you are trying to encourage people rather than trying to get them to do what you want against their will. Flattery is usually insincere or for some self-interest. It sounds like you are trying to encourage someone, even if with a little exaggeration.<BR/>BillyBilly Longhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13739420756402743057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-318245630918980101.post-43166797555719542282009-01-03T18:36:00.000-05:002009-01-03T18:36:00.000-05:00[By permission, I am posting a comment sent to me ...[By permission, I am posting a comment sent to me by Tim West. -BL]<BR/><BR/>I read your...blog on manipulation and found it very insightful. I have always tried to be an encourager and have sometimes wondered if I go too far to make others feel good about themselves by slightly exaggerating their accomplishments. Where does encouragement end and manipulation begin? It can be a fine line I guess. I'd rather err on the side of encouragement toward others than to have the critical spirit that I once had! Woe is me! I just can't seem to get it right. <BR/>Glad Laurel got to go to California. You guys have a great new year!<BR/><BR/>Tim WestBilly Longhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13739420756402743057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-318245630918980101.post-8709548670609451332009-01-01T20:52:00.000-05:002009-01-01T20:52:00.000-05:00(With permission, I am posting here a comment sent...(With permission, I am posting here a comment sent to me from a friend, Brad Owen.---Billy L)<BR/><BR/>Hi Billy,<BR/>I am sitting on the couch, whilst C____, A___, D__, and more are on the<BR/>floor playing games… I am finally trying to write about your blog. I have not yet commented on this post because I am not sure how it will turn out and I might be embarrassed at my own<BR/>answers/thoughts.<BR/>To start with, I tried to respond when it was first posted, but could not put down any good thoughts; actually found myself writing religiously, no life in it; and thus I did not post it.<BR/>Secondly, the first thing I found myself thinking and responding to is the resistance to manipulation, how it left me feeling like I wanted to fight. Maybe the reason(s) was that I was finally able and willing to NOT allow myself to be manipulated, and willing to fight for what I thought was right. I remember speaking with you just after… and I was surprised by my response to some question, by saying, "I have learned to not take any bull from anybody". Finally I am<BR/>able to stand on my own feet and not be pushed to any conclusions, but able to<BR/>express my feelings and what I thought God was saying to me, and not worry about the<BR/>responses of others. Then you wrote in the blog about manipulation and I found myself wanting to pick a fight with I____. I remember how you wrote in your correspondence with me about responding to R___ how I was wanting to make I____ mad and get a response from him. You<BR/>counseled us to not make him mad. I wanted to make him mad and get him to fight so we could hit him head on. As I thought about your blog and considered my response I found that I was maybe reacting to the way I was manipulated in my past. I also a found that my response today is almost a defiance of how I used to be. Maybe I am over reacting. I want to make people confront their sins, their issues, the things that keep God from being the center of all. This is what I thought when I read about manipulation. I wrote you about how it was good to pick a fight like William Wallace goes out to the first battle and tells his guys that he is going to pick a fight. That's what I want to do. I am willing to do things that do that. This is my first response to your blog. Now that I have taken time and digested it, I see that this response may not be the best for the person that I wanted to pick a fight with, aka I____, ___, anyone who manipulates me or others. You see where I am? I have a long way to go.<BR/>Love you man. Glad to be walking with folks that I can be honest with,<BR/>BradBilly Longhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13739420756402743057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-318245630918980101.post-3327780675033601162008-12-23T20:07:00.000-05:002008-12-23T20:07:00.000-05:00(I am posting here a comment sent in by another fr...(I am posting here a comment sent in by another friend. -BL<BR/><BR/><BR/>Billy, ... The spirit of control is everywhere in the church. Jesus is demanding his headship back. I feel for the leaders who won't let go of control. It will not go well with them. Merry Christmas. <BR/>Bob HBilly Longhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13739420756402743057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-318245630918980101.post-3448241779009626232008-12-20T10:51:00.000-05:002008-12-20T10:51:00.000-05:00True "servant" leadership focuses our attention on...True "servant" leadership focuses our attention on God. Managing a group of people focuses our attention on the manager.. The servant leader leads with the realization that he is dependent on The Holy Spirit and therefore the Glory goes to God... The manager is limited to his own ability and cunning therefore the glory goes to himself. <BR/><BR/>I believe God uses both types of leaders to accomplish His purposes.. Authority is God given...Right? there are fair leaders and some not so fair leaders.. There is King Saul and there is King David(who did some "unfair" things too).<BR/><BR/>The key is where has God placed you and a dependance on the Holy Spirit to lead you as you serve.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-318245630918980101.post-5917318262119938672008-12-20T05:53:00.000-05:002008-12-20T05:53:00.000-05:00Thanks, Jessica for your comment. It is so good to...Thanks, Jessica for your comment. It is so good to hear from you. Please tell your folks hello for me.<BR/>BillyBilly Longhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13739420756402743057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-318245630918980101.post-80450429864041999932008-12-20T01:08:00.000-05:002008-12-20T01:08:00.000-05:00Wow..."someone who feels forced to serve." I neve...Wow..."someone who feels forced to serve." I never thought about it that way, but reflecting on that, I think you are right. If a person is not personally convicted to serve in leadership (therefore resulting in honesty and not manipulation), then why is he in leadership and why does he manipulate?Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11201092610579411588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-318245630918980101.post-36609214711602073872008-12-19T20:31:00.000-05:002008-12-19T20:31:00.000-05:00(I have taken the liberty to post a comment sent b...(I have taken the liberty to post a comment sent by a friend. BL)<BR/><BR/>Billy,<BR/><BR/> Awesome blog. I was under a very manipulative leader for a long time. It has taken<BR/>Me a long time to get out of the guilt and shame that that kind of leadership breeds. <BR/>However, it has helped me to go the opposite route and lead thru inspiration and encouragement. <BR/>There Is a huge difference between someone who wants to serve as to someone who feels forced to serve.<BR/><BR/>Thanks,<BR/><BR/>D__ R___Billy Longhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13739420756402743057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-318245630918980101.post-68581555747938253142008-12-19T07:56:00.000-05:002008-12-19T07:56:00.000-05:00I agree Billy, this is very true. And there are fo...I agree Billy, this is very true. And there are forms of manipulation that are very subtle, semi-sweet and have the 'appearance of godliness.' Some leaders know how to 'manage' people instead of loving and caring for them, and call it 'leadership'. <BR/><BR/>I read a book a while back called <I>"Power versus Force"</I> with the basic idea that when we use our soul power (mind, will, emotions) to try to 'make' things happen or move a process forward, it = force. But when we surrender our own ideas or will and surrender to God's direction, trusting Him to do whatever needs done, we then begin to function with true 'power' = dunamis. Force never accomplishes the will of God, only true power does.Joseph Holbrookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14444064378832759436noreply@blogger.com