OUT OF THE BOX

Just as truth can be stranger than fiction, reality can sometimes be funnier than jokes. Therefore, I try to keep track of unusual things I hear people say. Below is a list of word-abuses that I have heard over the last few years. These friends and acquaintances did not realize they were corrupting a word or using the wrong word. The following sentences were spoken in earnest. A fellow told me he did not want to sound self-defecating . A second cousin told me her sister had an infection in her influfial tubes . One man said he suffered from sick-as-hell-anemia . The hospital had to place a lady’s husband in contentious care . Another man was in there with a brain hemorrhoid . A fellow told me a family member had immaculate degeneration . One man said he had problems with his heart rhythm, but the doctors had decided not to install a space-maker . A friend told me, “While I am in town, I’ll go by and pay the fine and also return Joel’s guitar. That way I can kill the whole bird with one

“…I have fought with wild beasts at Ephesus.” -1 Corinthians 15: 32 Paul Law’s Message at the African Pastors’ Conference The Kenyan pastors sat enthralled as Paul Law told them of the time he was surprised by the fierce growl of a lion crouching in the bushes in front of him near his missions ranch in the Congo. He had been told that the creature had left the area, and so he considered it safe to look for the remains of a cow the lion had previously killed and dragged into the bushes. But now the threatening roar announced the presence of the beast. Paul stopped in his tracks, and without turning his head was about to quietly give instructions to the three companions following behind him. They, however, were not there. They had already fled to the truck leaving him alone with the lion. He carefully and slowly walked backwards keeping his eyes in the direction of a possible attack. He made it safely back to the vehicle to find that the two men who reached the truck first, had jumped in

“…And when he saw him, he had compassion” Luke 10: 33 My friend John Moses was in the check-out line at a grocery store recently and noticed that an elderly lady with a small child in line in front of him did not have enough money to pay for the groceries she was buying for herself and her grandchild. He noticed how sad and embarrassed she seemed to be as she began removing food items from her bags. John’s heart was moved with compassion because he realized she needed every single item of food for herself and the child who was with her. Turning to the cashier he said, “Please put those items back into her bag. I will pay for her groceries .” The cashier gladly placed all the food back into the bags. The elderly lady, full of gratitude for such kindness, turned to my friend and thanked him for what he had done. John did not mean to draw attention to himself, but he immediately received comments from those who saw what he did. The cashier said, “I have worked here for years and I have ne