DEALING WITH REGRETS

I look back over my life and see many regrets, things I would change or do better if I could go back and start over. I see areas where I was not a wise and faithful steward of resources, time, responsibilities, opportunities, and potential. How do I resolve what in the natural seems to be unresolvable? What do I do when I’ve lost or forfeited something I can never get back? How do I find comfort when something dear to me is gone? The answer: I give it to God.

The prodigal son left home and wasted his inheritance in the world of disobedience and sin. Sometimes I feel like the prodigal who stayed home. I did not waste my life in sin and dissipation, but rather was the “good son” who stayed in the fold but still squandered opportunities, resources, time, and potential. This brings deep and painful regret that feels like it comes belatedly when it might be too late to recover or redeem the situation.
Based on the prophet Nathan’s word to him, David knew his own sin with Bathsheba and the death of her husband were partly responsible for Absalom’s death and the rebellion that had entered his household. His grief was almost unimaginable. We see David’s heart-wrenching cry upon learning of Absalom’s death.
“The king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept. And as he went, he said thus: ‘O my son Absalom, my son, my son!’” 2 Samuel 18:33.
“The king covered his face, and cried out with a loud voice, ‘O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son.!’” 2 Samuel 19:4.
Most of us have some regrets regarding our performance as parents. As a father I have prayed many times for the Lord to deliver my children from the consequences of my failures. So many blind spots I have come to see when it feels too late to do anything about it. I have asked for my children’s forgiveness. And I turn to prayer and God’s word. I have found and clung to those scripture verses that promise God’s redemptive and saving power over children. Of course, there are many other areas where we have regrets. The same principles apply.
Looking back over my pastoral ministry I have also prayed for the Lord to bless and heal anyone I may have unintentionally hurt, wounded, or misled. It is common to man. Everyone makes mistakes. None of us walks with absolute perfection. We all have things we regret. And there are the blind spots that are still hidden and leaving damage in our wake. We ask the Lord to show us. The wicked and selfish person has no regrets and no grief. It is the more spiritual person who bows in repentance and weeps over his sins. It is the more faithful and honest person who cries out “Oh wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”
So, what do I do as I look back seeing these areas of loss and so many things I would change? I ask for mercy and forgiveness, and I ask Him to bless everyone I may have hurt, wounded, or failed in any way. I receive his mercy and restoration with great thanksgiving, but also, I surrender and submit to the Lord’s loving discipline in my life…whatever that may entail. Whether restoration or forfeiture, this requires great faith and trust in God, His goodness and His wisdom.
So, what do I do as I look back seeing these areas of loss and so many things I would change? I give it to God. My hope is in the redemptive power of Jesus Christ, and in the grace, wisdom, and goodness of God that helps me overcome myself.
“Nevertheless, I am not ashamed, for I know Him whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.” 2 Timothy 1: 12.
I give it to God, after I have given myself to Him.

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