DEALING WITH CONFLICT: Part One
Look at the picture of the old car riddled with holes. Inside the car two men are slumped over dead in the front seat and one in the back seat. The photograph looks like a scene from a gangster movie or from the life of Bonnie and Clyde. Based on this description, what would be your answer to the following questions:
What kind of people are in the car?
What kind of people fired on the car?
How would you describe the relationship between the people in the car and the
people who fired on the car?
What was the objective of those who fired the shots?
People are very surprised to learn the true answers to these questions. The
picture is from an article in the December 1991 issue of National Geographic
about the 1941 attack on Pearl Harbor. The actual caption reads as follows:
Slain by friendly fire, shipyard workers John Adams, his father, and a friend
were five miles from Pearl Harbor when their Packard was hit by shrapnel from
errant five-inch Navy shells. American anti-aircraft guns rained damage on
Honolulu, untouched by Japanese bombardment."
The men in this car were Americans accidentally killed by fellow
Americans. They were killed by men from their own team. Now, go back and answer
the questions again.
How often has this happened in our relationships with other
Christians? Figuratively speaking, this photo could have been taken in some
church parking lot. Church members have often done more damage to one another
than to the enemy's work. How sad to be “slain by friendly fire.” I think we
can safely say that friendly fire is NOT friendly. If not dealt with in the
grace and power of God it leaves Christians angry, confused, hurt,
disillusioned, and derailed.
Conflict has ripple effects. It has been used as an excuse
to reject God. It is no surprise that conflict issues have been the cause of
many Christians and non-Christians staying away from church. It has left many
Christians spiritually disabled and derailed because it hardens the heart and
causes love to grow cold.
God has given us spiritual weapons that will bring us
through every distress in good spiritual health and make available His power,
wisdom, and grace help us to resist the temptations that come to us during
times of conflict and during our times of need.
When not faced redemptively in the grace of God, the fruit
of conflict spreads like leaven and militates against unity, love, and the
manifested presence of God among His people. The search for relief tempts us to
compromise. Anger and the desire for revenge contaminates our spirit and prevent
Biblical resolution. Confusion and disillusionment press us to quit. But we can
overcome these temptations and snares of the enemy.
It indicates a real love for Jesus when a person is able to
emerge from the fires of conflict in spiritual health and continue in his walk
with God and with Gods people. Resolving conflict redemptively involves
repentance, forgiving, sometimes restitution, and even forgetting. It means
being faithful to do the right thing in as much as depends on you. Sometimes it
means leaving implacable, intractable, and unrepentant people to the judgment
of God. It also means to trust the mysterious, unexplainable, and immoveable
into the hands of our Sovereign Almighty God. This requires faith, humility, a
heart of obedience, and a true relationship with Jesus Christ. Otherwise, a
person will find it impossible to do these things. An unbroken carnal person
cannot wield the spiritual weapons necessary to succeed in this arena. Success
comes when spiritual people take up spiritual weapons. Spiritual weapons give
us the ability to do what God requires of us. They give us the ability to
entrust to God those things which are outside of our own power to change.
We should not have a heart of unbelief. We must believe in
God's Sovereign ability to redeem the past and to direct the future. Read again
Romans 8: 28. If you stand with a heart after God and walk in a Christ-like
spirit, God will be with you and bring you through and onward. The key is to
walk in a manner pleasing to the Lord.
This posting is merely an introduction to the
subject. In the future I would like to share some Biblical principles that help
us to understand the spiritual weapons that are available to us. We will
discuss some practical things and some spiritual things to do during
conflict. I hope you will follow with me
in these lessons.
----Billy Long
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